Sunday, 24 January 2016

Silhouette of a City

Hey Guys,

So if you're up to date with the going's on of my blog, then you will know that I took part in NaNoWriMo last year. NaNoWriMo is the most annoying thing to type, but it is also a writing challenge. It is where you have the entire month of November to write a story with 50,000 words or more.
I failed horrendously last year, I started to write a story called Silhouette of a City. I posted chapters one and two on my blog for you to read. I also said that even though NaNoWriMo was over, that I would continue to write it, and continue to post chapters. I have continued writing it, so well done me.

However, whilst reading through the chapters posted on my blog, I realised that they were under edited and kind of awful. So I went back and edited chapter one so it would be better, and now that is what I plan to share with you today. I will continue to update it, and just to specify it is no longer a NaNoWriMo project. Just a bit of fun. Enjoy...



Chapter 1                                              

She dropped, well that would be a fancy word for what she did. She fell, off the roof of a warehouse after just escaping the clutches of the council. Lillian Winewood knew that within seconds the guards would be after her, but then again, she also knew that she could outrun them.
As Lillian fell through the darkness that was collecting around and within Greve, she thought to recall what the seekers had told her. And, as she hit the grimy streets, she tucked her legs up against her far too thin stomach and rolled into a standing position. She took no more than a second to regain her footing, and when she had she once again began to sprint through the repulsive city that was Greve. She clutched tightly at the bread she had stolen right from the middle of a council meeting.
 It was when she heard a loud commotion behind her that she realised how fast her pursuers actually were and without giving it a second thought she ducked into an alley to wait out their hunt.
Would this actually work? She questioned. Then smiled maliciously; first at the noise of the council guards as they rushed past her; and then at their mistake in not considering which of many possible ways she could have gone. Again Lillian began to question herself about; was what she had achieved in snatching worth the risk that she piled on herself every day? But then righted her thinking by muttering under her breath
You have to, to survive, and any way they don’t call you the sphinx for nothing; they haven’t caught you once in three years she physically grinned at the prospect, three years! No one lasted that long; she was the best of her kind, the best of the Axos rogue. She hastily smoothed her features into an uninterested expression as she began to stroll casually down the alley.  The neutral facade turned grim as she made her way back to the hellhole that she had to call home. To her it felt more like a headquarters; she would check in, and out, and give in her daily prizes so they could be shared with the more helpless rogue.
                                                                      ______________

Lillian once again began to doubt the victory of her bread as she lifted the iron grill that closed off the sewer to public access - it obviously didn’t do a great job - and hopped down into the bowls of the city. When she had first learnt about this ‘sewer entrance’ she was adamant that she wasn’t going anywhere near it and would use the more innocent looking front entrance. She had, as well as most others, believed the sewer entrance would lead to an actual sewer. But, in fact, it lead to a ladder, and that ladder led to a room that would be seemingly empty unless you thought to remove yourself from that layer of sight and position yourself on the one under which case you would clearly be able to see a small group of people. That small group of people were in fact the rogue of Axos. 
It was that very ladder that she made her way down before dropping into the room expecting, as normal, for it to be empty and it was until she ventured forward, and pushed onto the layer below. When that layer was gone the scene around her changed and burst into life. The room was alive with people bustling around doing their jobs as if nothing was amiss, but she knew better than to trust them. She pushed through yet another layer, exactly like her mother had been teaching her. That was until she was captured and killed for being different. You remove the layer in front of you and put it behind you meaning that you are now invisible or ‘clouded’ from others on different layers of sight.
After the second layer was fully behind and she opened her mind to see more, the bustling crowd disappeared as they remained on the previous layer. What stood in front of her was worse. Seventeen city guards stood there waiting for a moment like this to happen, that or waiting to attack when everyone was asleep. As quickly as she noticed them, they noticed her and began to move in set on claiming this one-off prize. Before she fully disappeared from their view, Lillian saw a sword pierce where she was standing but a few seconds ago.
When she popped back into existence on layer two, it took a few seconds for her to realise she was now without her bread; she had dropped it in her haste to get the barrier back in place. Not that it really mattered anymore.
 She quickly congregated anyone who would listen to tell them about the situation.
“Ok, Ok how do I start” she began to mumble, her voice rose as she clearly spoke To the 15 people who had gathered “umm well right then, I was um checking the layer of sight beneath the one we declare ‘ours’ and well I was faced with 17 city guards waiting to ambush. They obviously can’t do it now while we are all up and active, I mean they would be stupid to try. Break into a room full of thieves, exiled warriors and in my case seekers, they would be crazy absolutely cr...”
“Get on with it” She allowed her eyes to skit over the crowd and with little effort located the owner of the yelling. David Marks, an idiot. The look she then gave him would have made the worst of the worst shudder even a little. She glared at him until he backed down mumbling apologies before she continued.
“I don’t think we need to evacuate or anything like that. This is no extremity it’s simply them waiting to ambush us so instead we ambush them.” Wheels turned in her head a s she formulated her plan.
“Anyone who would like to fight can stay here. We don’t need many, there were only seventeen guards seven or eight of us will do” She waved a hand in dismissal waiting to see who was left. No one, that’s who no one had taken her seriously and stayed behind to help her fight, no one. If that’s how they wanted to play it, they could die. See if she cared. Lillian turned to go and not a moment later seventeen city guards popped into existence and began to ambush.


I,m hoping you enjoyed that much better edited version of the first chapter, the suspense might be a bit better now that it is written better. But, then again it might not. I will see you soon xx

-A

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